When my husband and I were married we both lacked a debt free mindset. We compiled all of our crazy beliefs about money and began making very detrimental financial decisions...ones that we are finally getting sorted out 7 years after matrimony.
We don't have it all together but at least now we are on the same page and are working as a team.
I AM AFRAID
It scared me to think that if my husband were to die while we were in debt that I would struggle financially to achieve our goals. Goals such as the children's education, paying the mortgage and handling monthly bills. I feared having to go back to work while the children were still young and dependant upon me.
I was also afraid that if my husband were to become unemployed or disabled for more than a month, that our lives and lifestyle would change drastically. The list of fears goes on and on...
I did something very important with those fears.
First, I admitted to God that I was afraid. I asked God if He had forsaken us or intended for us to struggle like this? I told God that I was tired of trying to fix my husband and no longer wanted to blame him for our troubles. After prayerfully seeking forgiveness and surrendering to God's will, He began to show me how I had not trusted HIM or my Husband. From that point I stopped worshipping the idea that my husband would always be able to provide, and I put my trust in the Lord.
Next, I admitted to my husband how afraid I was. I told him how I was losing sleep and peace of mind over our finances. I explained to him in a non-threatening or accusatory way that I was afraid and why I was afraid.
I apologized for blaming him. Through prayer I began to fight against the resentful thoughts towards him. I stopped telling myself how incompetent he was. Instead criticising him and comment on his bad financial decisions, I began to encourage him with Gods word. Finally, I told him that I trust in him and that I believe in him.
Once we mended our own internal issued with each other, we sought the help of outsiders. We finally decided to invest in Dave Ramsey's services and advice. Do we still have debts and shortfalls...sure we do. But we no longer fear the financial storms of life, because we are assured that God has a plan for our good.
Monday, September 15, 2008
2 comments:
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I dont like giving advice, but your story is v similar to ours - over 30 yrs ago when I first got married. We solved our poor financial situation over the years, but it did take a long time and alot of faith and also practical methods. We followed the simplify your life /voluntary simplicity- unheard of back then method which requires a lot of self discipline and slowly we have come good.
ReplyDeleteI would advise to write each fear in your journal and next to it in another column a real and practical solution you think that could help you fix that fear, and maybe it will help you to seek more of them to come into your life. I have always had faith and also beleive that god helps those who help themsleves - so those practical solutions may eb important. I also found the Dollar stretcher magazine and other frugal sites to be helpful have you ever heard of the simple living network? try having a look at those too.
I went through some hard times and hope yours dont last as long as ours did.... sorry to have rambled! hugs krissie
Thank you Krissie for your kind words as well as for your advice. Acknowledging fears and replacing them with faith is certainly the key to overcoming any situation.
ReplyDeleteI do subscribe to frugal living methods such as following the guidance of Dave Ramsey' Total Money Makeover. I also have read many books similar to the tightwad Gazzette as well.
I have so enjoyed your comment and I am glad that you visited.