Ornaments of Meekness and Quietness

I Corinthians 6:11

And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.

Have you ever found yourself doing the very thing you vowed you didn't want to do anymore?

You said you wouldn't fuss at your children any more. You said that you'd be more submissive and less argumentative towards your husband from now on.

All would go well...for a while and before you knew it you were back to yelling and rebelling.

You desire to have a meek and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4) yet somehow the ability to perform it eludes you.

Why is it that no matter how many times we vow that these are the characteristics we desire do they still evade us?

When we yell at at our children and argue with our husbands it is not good for us or for our families. It causes everyone physical, mental and emotional damage.

It is not so much the raised voice when speaking to our children, or the fact that we may disagree with our husbands that is the problem. Calling a child in a loud voice from one end of the house to come and clean his room is not damaging to his metal and emotional health. Telling your husband your opinion regarding a pressing decision is not what causes cracks in the foundation of your marriage.

The yelling and rebellion that cause the damages are the one motivated by frustration, irritation, disdain and malice.

When we go beyond sharing our opinion in a situation to nagging we begin to wear away at our husbands focus and ability to lead.

When we use yelling as a form of discipline we begin to tear down the fibers of our children's metal and spiritual health. We require that our children show self control yet we lose control of ourselves with every shriek and shrill.

We are the rebellious and riotous ones. (Exodus 4:1, 16:2, I Sam 15:23, I Cor.. 6:10). This behavior that displease the Lord.

How do we begin to become better......?

Reader Comment: Submission

I received the following comment from a reader...

I have a question that I hope you'll be able to answer. So, if I'm to understand, your husband is the captain of the ship, with you being second in command. What happens if you truly disagree with something that your husband does, with say the finances? What if your husband wants to invest in something that you have strong reservations about... How would this play out in your family? Would you voice your opinion, but then your husband gets the last say no matter what?

Interesting blog; I enjoy reading different perspectives to mine :)

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What happens if I truly disagree with something that my husband does?

The commenter used finances as an example which was my final line of defense in my decision to submit. It is the one area that I have struggled with the most but with each opportunity to submit to my husbands leadership, I've learn that:

#1- My husband is capable of leading our family in every aspect

#2- God already has a back up plan for my husbands mistakes


What do I do when my opinion differs from my husbands?

As a wife I am made to be my husbands help meet. God appointed me to be helper for my husband. Not only that but, He has also equipped me with some qualities that my husband needs. My husband happens to understand how important my opinion is and demonstrates that by asking me for my input on every decision that is pertinent in our marriage.

He hears me out and takes into careful consideration what I have said. He prays alone...and with me...to seek the guidance of the Lord. This act alone gives me enough confidence to surrender my will if my husband decides to do something different than what I've suggested.

Has my husband always been this great of a guy? No. (nor have I always been the wife I am today)

The way that I see it is that I can build him up or tear him down. When I began to demonstrate my allegiance to his leadership abilities His faith became stronger. I was no longer an obstacle that he had to fight against in his journey towards a resolution to a dilemma.

Imaging trying to figure out the solution to a life changing situation, knowing that the one person who should have your back, secretly or openly thinks that you are doomed to fail?

That's got to be rough on a man's psyche. I decided to become his #1 cheerleader in life. To be a true helper, I had understand his interests, dreams, weaknesses, strengths, struggles. When I began to be more supportive and less rebellious, headstrong, stubborn, strong willed and demanding, I was able to understand the reasoning behind some of his decisions.

What puzzles me sometimes is this..."How can we be totally comfortable with submitting to a supervisor on a job, more than our own spouses?". We don't dare speak to our supervisors in the manner in which we often speak to our spouses. We don't defy our supervisors refusing to carry out their vision for the employees. We accept company changes with out as much as a peep. Why?

When I disagree with my husband...

~If the issue is a matter of our biblical principles or moral foundation, I ask God to reveal scripture concerning the situation. The only reason why I would not submit to my husband is if he were asking me to sin or condone sinful behavior on his part.

~I express it calmly. I pray for direction in using the proper tone and words. I am known to raise my voice to get my point across, therefore this is a step that I must take.

~I ask God to help me use words that my husband understands. My husband and I do not communicate the same way and it helps to speak his language.

~I ask God to help me to accept my husbands decision if it differs from mine.

~I ask God to help me see where I could be wrong.

~I pray for direction for my husband.

~I accept the fact that neither of us are perfect


What helps me surrender to the leadership of my husband?

1. Knowing that it is God that has commanded me to submit to my husbands leadership, not my husband. My husband has been placed in this position by God. My husband was not given the an option to accept or decline. It is an absolute.

2. Knowing that no matter what decisions my husband makes, God is will take care of us both. God has a back up plan for our shortfalls.

3. Being confident in my husbands faith and relationship with the Lord.

4. Knowing my husbands love for me and his desire to do his best for me.

Submitting is not easy. Our submission must start with God as the center of our focus, not our husbands. We obey God, thereby we submit to our husbands. We must submit to our husbands with an attitude of faith with our eye’s are set upon the Lord

Once we have truly surrendered to God, submission will be the natural outworking of the Holy Spirit within the Christian. Godly submission isn't something you try to perform, it is the natural fruit of a close walk with Christ.

10 Tips for Biblical Womanhood

1~ Love God with a passion and show it. It should not be a mystery that you have a love relationship with God.

2~ Love your husband and show it. Encourage him and use your talents to help him be his best. A strong women is not described by how little she makes her husband look. A strong women is described by her ability to use what talents God has given her to make her family unit a success.

3~Make your home a priority. Work towards making home a haven for every family member. Keep the natural order of the family in focus God, husband (marriage) and then children.

4~Respect and consider your children. Encourage them to do and be their best. Raise them up to make God the primary focus of their lives.

5~Learn to communicate. Start by talking less and listening more.

6~Teach your children life principles such as integrity, money management, academic excellence, self confidence, self control and dependence on God.

7~Learn to do right--James 4:17 "Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin."

8~Be a friend.

9~Win your children's friends for Christ--encourage them to choose good friends and allow those friends to spend time with your family. (I Corinthians 15:33)

10~Learn wisdom--Pray and study scripture

Just Enough

I am not the kind of Home Maker that sits at home watching daytime television while the laundry goes undone. Dinner is always made and served around 5'ish, and the kitchen and common areas are spotless by 7'ish.

I am quite sure that it's the same way at your house or some similar resemblance of an organized home.

However in the midst of keeping my home running like a well oiled ship, I have noticed that some areas have fallen by the wayside.

One thing in particular that seems to often get placed on the back burner is ME.

Now, please don't jump to any conclusions. I am not about to advocate a girls weekend away at the spa for some pampering. Nor am I going to indulge in the idea of a week long woman's retreat to get me pumped up and back on track.

What I am talking about is something much simpler.

I have noticed that I haven't been going that extra mile in caring for myself as much as I normally would. Some days I am just TOO TIRED to wash my hair, put on make-up or shave my legs.

None of these things are done everyday, but if I am in a crunch for time or energy, I am quite sure that something from my pampering routine will be neglected.

Are these things going to place an emotional strain on my marriage? I quite sure they won't. I do however believe that once we stop doing something long enough, it becomes normal.

I don't desire for unshaven legs, disheveled hair and chipped nail polish to become the norm. Often something such as a week of caring for a sick child will throw me off of my beauty regimen. This is quite understandable. And so, I shaved my legs, applied my make-up, washed and styled my hair and put on my lotions and perfumes.

Guess what???...

He noticed!! My husband noticed...He is such a sweet man.

He rubbed my legs while we watched a movie and all of a sudden he asked, "Did you shave your legs?".

I answered "Yes", and he continued to stroke my smooth legs.

I am so looking forward to my beauty routine tomorrow.

You can read about my daily facial routine here.

Tour of my Home Making Binder

I wanted to make a video but still have not been able to get it to upload. I have instead created a pictorial tour of my HMB.

Section #1: Schedules

The first page of my coupon binder can be found here. I use both sheets found on page (2).

I slip the pages inside of a clear sheet protector and write on them with a dry erase marker. Each morning I date the sheet and begin filling in the days menu and home~keeping tasks.

The sheet has (3) section dedicated to Morning, Afternoon and Evening routines. There is space to write in the meals and boxes to check off the tasks as they are done. The thing that I love about this sheet is that it has the very same verse that I quote to myself and my children when we are having a tough morning.

Psalm 118:24 "This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it."

The sheets wipe off easily every night and is ready to be filled in the next morning.

The next sheet in my HMB is a calendar. I have a few throughout my binder. This one is the easiest to access.

The next page is my workout schedule at the YMCA. I have the monthly schedule and I've highlighted the classes that I'd take for each day.



Section #2: Home-Making



This is a reference guide of our daily tasks. It has everything listed here that needs to be done each day. This sheet was downloaded and edited using the Donna Young, Housework Document

Here is a closer view of the sheet. These are the basic tasks that should be completed each day. Things such as making beds, brushing teeth and tidying rooms. This sheet does not include community chores.

This sheet works especially good if I am not at home, my husband can just refer to this sheet to have a quick reference guide of my expectations.

Next I have the weekly at a glance schedule.

Here is a close up.

In the center of this form is our monthly home-making chores at a glance.

And just beneath are the quarterly tasks such as winterizing the lawn, washing the house sorting and donating clothes, etc.

Sometimes my children will forget that they are supposed to be working and not playing during chore time. I use the next few sheets with biblical reminders of the importance of diligent workers.

Here is one that teaches Godly attitude toward parents.

and here's one that promotes peace at home with family and siblings.

These can all be found at doorpost.com, however these sheets are no longer FREE. They do have a great sheet for mothers that is FREE and a Courtship Checklist if you are in that stage of life with your children.

The next page is a handwritten documentation of what I mean when I say "Go and do your kitchen chores". Everyone's standard is different as to what they consider as a job well done. I have written a specific out line of what a clean kitchen looks like according to mom's standard.

I wrote this sheet after hearing one too many "Well it looks clean to me" from my children.

Below is a handwritten checklist that the children can refer to anytime they'd like to go and play. If its a Saturday morning I'll ask "Did you do your morning chores?" . They can quickly refer to this page to answer the question as to whether or not they can play the X-box. If they see that they have not done a chore then they will go do the chore and then get permission to play.

Section #3: School

I keep awards, statewide test scores, report cards, weekly schedules and doctor's excuses in the section. I have a page with the contact info of all of the children's classmates and teachers. I have a school calendar in this section. I also have each of the children's class schedules in here. If I need to pick them up fro school I'll know exactly where they are supposed to be.

When I am homeschooling this section is used for my children's lesson plans/ I use page (2) of the fullpagedaily.

Section #4: Menu

There was a time when I would make menus every week. I began keeping those menus to use as a spring board for future menus. Whenever I am making my weekly menu I just refer back to old menus and pick meals from them. I have about 15 pages worth of meal ideas. Just like the one below.

In the front of my menu section is a Food Storage cheat sheet. I use this to determine the shelf life and freezer life of any food. I found this at Publix last year on the publication rack.

I write my weekly menu in here on a sheet protector and erase it at the end of the week.

I also keep a copy of the Hillbilly Housewife $45 Menu and the $75 menu in my binder just in case. Proverbs 31 states "she has no fear of the snow for her household is covered in scarlet".

I am very resourceful a have learned to hope for the best and plan for the worst.

Below is a daily kitchen work sheet that helps you to prepare the kitchen the day before for the following day. This sheet accompanies the menus above. I have used the same idea to stay on top of meals in my kitchen.

In the menu section you'll also find a pantry checklist.

This section helps me stay on top of activities the children are involved in at church.

The final section is for household rules and rule for living. Below is the fist from in the rules section. It covers a general outline for our lives according to the King James Bible.

I hope that you are able to grasp a general idea of how helpful a Home Making Binder can be to managing a home and family.


This post is proudly shared at Kelli's place.

Menu Plan Monday

This is my menu for the week which can be found in my Homemaking Binder.

Monday

Beef Stew with diced potatoes & carrots
Steamed rice
Corned Bread

Tuesday

Fried Pork Chops, Steamed Rice and Spinach

Wednesday

BBQ Meatloaf, Steamed Rice & Fried corn

Thursday

Chicken Enchiladas, Red beans and Rice

Friday

Tacos & Salad

Saturday

Sloppy Joes or Chicken Quesadillas

Sunday

Pork Tenderloin, steamed rice, gravy, green beans and cornbread

Enduring the Struggle

Job 2:10...Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?

How do you react when life deals you an ugly hand? Do you pout? Do you blame others? How about God?...Do you find yourself asking God how could you do this TO ME?

How many times have we thought to ourselves...why do "I" have to go through this? Or why couldn't "I" do such and such? When we focus on ourselves in the midst of our struggles we lose site of the bigger picture. Focusing on "I" can mean the difference in us becoming bitter as a result of our circumstances instead of better.

We believe that we know what's best for us. We forget that His thoughts are not our thoughts, neither are His ways are ways (Isaiah 55:8).

So how should we respond to struggle in a way that brings Glory to the Lord. Let us look at Luke 22:41-43

"And he was withdrawn from them about a stone's cast, and kneeled down, and prayed, saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him."

Jesus was drawn away from where he was and from who he was with- There will be some situations in which spouse, family, friends and neighbors won't be able to help.

Jesus kneeled down- Kneeling is an indication of humility and submission. Certain situations undeniable bring into perspective our limitations. Jesus demonstrated His respect and reverence for God's authority over His life by kneeling before Him.

Jesus prayed-Jesus wanted God to consider a Plan B of sorts. Jesus asked God to reconsider His plan, however Christ was confident that God had his best interest at heart. Jesus knew what God had told Jeremiah "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." When we rely on God's word we can pray knowing that He will answer. We can rest assured that God has a good plan for our lives even if it does not appear to be so during our struggle.

Knowing how God felt about him and what God desired for his future allowed Jesus to resign himself to God's plan even if He may not have completely wanted to endure it. Have you resigned yourself to God's plan for your life? Have you said to God in the midst of your struggle "Nevertheless, not my will but thy will be done"

Once Jesus surrendered to God's will concerning his fate, He received a supernatural strength. Supernatural strength can be described as "being enabled , endowed or equipped to achieve, endure or accomplish something that one would not have under any other circumstances be able to achieve, endure or accomplish." God gives us the power to overcome our situations and emerge victoriously.

This is the glory and power of God that is upon our lives. We don't have to be prisoners of circumstance. God has already made a way for us to escape. (I Cor. 101-13)

Summer Routine

As a mother of four children ranging in age from 5 to 15 years old, I find it beneficial to construct a daily schedule for my children. Having a written out daily routine gives the children direction, goals and responsibilities.

Morning Routine

Bathroom- This is mostly a reminder for my 5 year old.
Make Beds
Tidy Bedroom

BREAKFAST

Kitchen Chores
Hygiene- Brush teeth, Wash face, Groom hair, Moisturize skin

Family Devotional Time- Click Here for the Elementary Lessons I use. My 15 year old rotates between Beth Moore's "Beloved Disciple" Bible Study Workbook and Heart Connex

Cartoons/Indoor Activities-~XBox, ~Card Games, ~Board Games, etc.

Outdoors (group activities)- YMCA, FREE Bowling, Backyard Play

(2) School Subject- Math & English (including Literature & Language Arts)
Monday-Spelling Words 5x's ea., Tuesday-Sentences, Wednesday- Reading Comprehension, Thursday-Reading Comprehension, Friday-Handwriting/Narrations

My children believe that summer should resemble one continuous day at Disney World, but in the real world Daddy still has to go to work and Mommy still needs to care for the home.


LUNCH

Weekly/Daily Jobs
Kitchen Chores

(1) School Subject- History

Free Reading
Quiet Time/Naps
Dinner Helpers
Outside

Having a daily routine helps keep the children busy doing productive things to help around the house. It allows me to incorporate their skills and talents into my daily routine.

DINNER

Kitchen Clean-up
Showers/Brush Teeth

Bible Reading- Proverbs/Psalms reading plan

T.V time- Wheel of Fortune & Jeopardy
Prayer
Bedtime 8:30 PM for younger children...9 PM for older children

A schedule allows me to carve out time to teach each child new skills and work with them to improve others. I am looking forward to a peaceful and productive summer.

A Wife that Reveres her Husband

How do I become a wife that reveres my husband?

A woman who chooses a lifestyle of continued reverence towards her husband, is a women who understands the powerful impact of her role in the family. Whenever I see a wife who shows contempt or disrespect for her husband, what I really see is a woman who believes that she is powerless.

Do you try to change your husband with arguing and rebellion? A women who wants to change her husband will first change herself. Below are 4 key challenges for becoming a wife that reveres her husband.


1. Pray daily that you would speak and think positively about his character and behavior.
In order to treat your spouse differently, you will have to think differently about him. Your husband will know your thoughts toward him whether you verbally express them or not.

Proverbs 23:6-8 Eat thou not the bread of him that hath an evil eye, neither desire thou his dainty meats: For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.The morsel which thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up, and lose thy sweet words.


2. Overlook his faults.
This does not pertain to sin. Overlook the fact that he leaves his work clothes on the floor or that he does not replace the toilet paper when he uses the last of the roll. Don't let the small things irritate you. Satan knows what bothers you and he will use anyone (especially those closest to you) to separate you from the peace of God.

Matthew 7:1-5

3. Take on a child-like mentality.
What worked for me in teaching myself to speak respectfully to my husband was thinking of him as my father. Whenever I would prepare to speak to my husband I would ask myself the question,"Would I speak to my father this way?" The question can be replaced with anyone whom you respect. We should not speak to anyone better than the way in which we speak to our own spouse.

Colossians 4:5 Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.


4. Learn patience and self control.
This was and is one of the hardest Fruit of the Spirit for me to maintain. I must pray daily for the ability to be patient and temperate. I can see my self become easily agitated and hostile on the days that I don't pray the will of God over my flesh. Another word for patience is longsuffering. This area is where I've grown ever more closer to God. I can see His power working in me to be a patient and temperate wife in my interactions with my husband.

Ecclesiastes 7:7-9 Surely oppression maketh a wise man mad; and a gift destroyeth the heart. Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.

1 Thessalonians 5:13-15...Be at peace among yourselves. Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men. See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men.

Are you Vashti or Esther?

As I walked the track at the YMCA with a friend the subject of Jon and Kate came up. "Jon and Kate plus 8" isn't a show that either of us have watched more than once or twice, however the details of their rocky marriage have been revisited night after night on prime time news and entertainment television.

I remember the things that stood out for me when watching the two episodes of the show. The first was how Kate spoke to Jon in a condescending tone regarding what she viewed as his faults. The other was when Jon was slapped across the cheek by Kate after making a comment that she didn't like.

I decided then and there that this show would not get my ratings.

Is this what we now consider entertainment? I find no humor in a wife degrading her husband on national television or in privacy of ones own home. I am not here to judge Kate, however what I am here to do is shine a light on God's perfect plan for our lives.

I am not here to debate whether or not a husband deserved a wife's respect. I only intend to reiterate Gods perfect will for the marriage covenant. One commandment concerning my marriage covenant states "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Ephesians 5:33

God did not make any loopholes for me such as reverencing my husband only when he loves me as he loves himself. He gave my husband a commandment and he gave me a commandment. I am accountable for upholding it to the best of my ability and where I fall short, God's grace will be sufficient.

God has designed two distinct roles for my husband and I. He did not make us the same nor did he call us to operate in the same office. God has endowed me everything I need to fulfill my purpose in the marriage relationship.

One of my callings as a wife is to willingly submit to my husbands leadership, which includes him having ruler ship over me.

^Genesis3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

At one point in time I viewed this in such a negative light that I was a rebellious wife. I was irreverent and conducted myself in a way that did not glorify God. I was a wife like Vashti. You remember Vashti, the wife who refused to come to her husband when he called, resulting in his public embarrassment.

I am not Vashti. I do not have thousands of women who look up to me in my kingdom, but I do have two daughters who are watching me. They are observing how I interact with their father. They are looking to me to see how I deal with someone in authority over me. I have a responsibility to^{Titus 2:3} demonstrate behavior that is holy....being a teacher of good things. I am to teach my daughters to ^{Titus 2:4} love their husbands....^{Titus 2:5} To be discreet, chaste...good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. I am to show them ^{Titus 2:7} a pattern of good works which includes ^{Titus 2:8} Sound speech, that cannot be condemned.

As fellow believers in the body of Christ we are living examples of who Christ is and if we neglect to consider the impact that our behavior has on those around us than we will never truly be able to understand God's master plan for our lives. My marriage is not about just meeting my needs, it is my opportunity to demonstrate Gods perfect relationship between Him, Christ and the church.

God has a perfect order of authority for His Kingdom and for my family.

^{Ephesians 5: 22} Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

^{Ephesians 5:23} For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

^{Ephesians 5:24} Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

So, what shall I do when I disagree with my husband. I must choose to submit. God has reminded me so many times when I have wanted to rebel. He always whispers ever so softly to me "You chose this man as your husband. You prayed for me to bless this marriage covenant".

When wives do not revere our husbands we run the risk of hurting the entire family unit.

In the book of Esther, queen Vashti refused to come when her husband called...^{Ester 1:16} And Memucan answered before the king and the princes, Vashti the queen hath not done wrong to the king only, but also to all the princes, and to all the people that are in all the provinces of the king Ahasuerus.^{Ester 1:17} For this deed of the queen shall come abroad unto all women, so that they shall despise their husbands in their eyes, when it shall be reported, The king Ahasuerus commanded Vashti the queen to be brought in before him, but she came not.^{Ester 1:18} Likewise shall the ladies of Persia and Media say this day unto all the king's princes, which have heard of the deed of the queen. Thus shall there arise too much contempt and wrath.

^{Ester 1:19} If it please the king, let there go a royal commandment from him, and let it be written among the laws of the Persians and the Medes, that it be not altered, That Vashti come no more before king Ahasuerus; and let the king give her royal estate unto another that is better than she.

^{Ester 1:20}And when the king's decree which he shall make shall be published throughout all his empire, (for it is great,) all the wives shall give to their husbands honour, both to great and small.

It is not entertaining for me to watch an irreverent wife. I don't find it humorous for a wife to chastise, belittle or over talk her husband. ^{Proverbs 18:22} Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. Let us be mindful of what we consider entertaining. Guard your hearts and minds against the little foxes that try to creep in and spoil your vineyards. A virtuous women is not one who wears the proverbial pants in the marriage.

^{Proverb 12:4} "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband" the one who wears the pants is the one that "maketh ashamed and is as rottenness in his bones."