Are you Vashti or Esther?

As I walked the track at the YMCA with a friend the subject of Jon and Kate came up. "Jon and Kate plus 8" isn't a show that either of us have watched more than once or twice, however the details of their rocky marriage have been revisited night after night on prime time news and entertainment television.

I remember the things that stood out for me when watching the two episodes of the show. The first was how Kate spoke to Jon in a condescending tone regarding what she viewed as his faults. The other was when Jon was slapped across the cheek by Kate after making a comment that she didn't like.

I decided then and there that this show would not get my ratings.

Is this what we now consider entertainment? I find no humor in a wife degrading her husband on national television or in privacy of ones own home. I am not here to judge Kate, however what I am here to do is shine a light on God's perfect plan for our lives.

I am not here to debate whether or not a husband deserved a wife's respect. I only intend to reiterate Gods perfect will for the marriage covenant. One commandment concerning my marriage covenant states "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Ephesians 5:33

God did not make any loopholes for me such as reverencing my husband only when he loves me as he loves himself. He gave my husband a commandment and he gave me a commandment. I am accountable for upholding it to the best of my ability and where I fall short, God's grace will be sufficient.

God has designed two distinct roles for my husband and I. He did not make us the same nor did he call us to operate in the same office. God has endowed me everything I need to fulfill my purpose in the marriage relationship.

One of my callings as a wife is to willingly submit to my husbands leadership, which includes him having ruler ship over me.

^Genesis3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

At one point in time I viewed this in such a negative light that I was a rebellious wife. I was irreverent and conducted myself in a way that did not glorify God. I was a wife like Vashti. You remember Vashti, the wife who refused to come to her husband when he called, resulting in his public embarrassment.

I am not Vashti. I do not have thousands of women who look up to me in my kingdom, but I do have two daughters who are watching me. They are observing how I interact with their father. They are looking to me to see how I deal with someone in authority over me. I have a responsibility to^{Titus 2:3} demonstrate behavior that is holy....being a teacher of good things. I am to teach my daughters to ^{Titus 2:4} love their husbands....^{Titus 2:5} To be discreet, chaste...good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. I am to show them ^{Titus 2:7} a pattern of good works which includes ^{Titus 2:8} Sound speech, that cannot be condemned.

As fellow believers in the body of Christ we are living examples of who Christ is and if we neglect to consider the impact that our behavior has on those around us than we will never truly be able to understand God's master plan for our lives. My marriage is not about just meeting my needs, it is my opportunity to demonstrate Gods perfect relationship between Him, Christ and the church.

God has a perfect order of authority for His Kingdom and for my family.

^{Ephesians 5: 22} Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

^{Ephesians 5:23} For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

^{Ephesians 5:24} Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

So, what shall I do when I disagree with my husband. I must choose to submit. God has reminded me so many times when I have wanted to rebel. He always whispers ever so softly to me "You chose this man as your husband. You prayed for me to bless this marriage covenant".

When wives do not revere our husbands we run the risk of hurting the entire family unit.

In the book of Esther, queen Vashti refused to come when her husband called...^{Ester 1:16} And Memucan answered before the king and the princes, Vashti the queen hath not done wrong to the king only, but also to all the princes, and to all the people that are in all the provinces of the king Ahasuerus.^{Ester 1:17} For this deed of the queen shall come abroad unto all women, so that they shall despise their husbands in their eyes, when it shall be reported, The king Ahasuerus commanded Vashti the queen to be brought in before him, but she came not.^{Ester 1:18} Likewise shall the ladies of Persia and Media say this day unto all the king's princes, which have heard of the deed of the queen. Thus shall there arise too much contempt and wrath.

^{Ester 1:19} If it please the king, let there go a royal commandment from him, and let it be written among the laws of the Persians and the Medes, that it be not altered, That Vashti come no more before king Ahasuerus; and let the king give her royal estate unto another that is better than she.

^{Ester 1:20}And when the king's decree which he shall make shall be published throughout all his empire, (for it is great,) all the wives shall give to their husbands honour, both to great and small.

It is not entertaining for me to watch an irreverent wife. I don't find it humorous for a wife to chastise, belittle or over talk her husband. ^{Proverbs 18:22} Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. Let us be mindful of what we consider entertaining. Guard your hearts and minds against the little foxes that try to creep in and spoil your vineyards. A virtuous women is not one who wears the proverbial pants in the marriage.

^{Proverb 12:4} "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband" the one who wears the pants is the one that "maketh ashamed and is as rottenness in his bones."